Dumb Fun

Here is a Stupid Survey you can take!

75 Clues That You Might Be a Metalhead

1. You at one time tried to make the sawblade wrist bands that Blackie Lawless wore AND/OR you tried to make the Kerry King nail armband.
I can safely say I did not.

2. You know that the Dio logo turned upside down reads "devil."
Can't say as I did.

3. "NOT" was in your vocabulary.
True.

4. You remember when Metallica was never on the radio or MTV.
Yes I do.

5. You were in love with Lita Ford or Doro Pesch.
Uhhh...like, no, Dude. I'm not a lesbian.

6. You saw the movie "Trick Or Treat" in a theater
No.

7. You constantly had to explain to people that "Bon Jovi is not metal and he SUCKS."
No, he's not Metal, but I don't think he sucks.

8. When you watch MTV News you recognize Megadeth's "Peace Sells" bass line at the end of the segment.
I honestly don't watch MTV News.

9. You liked the Beastie Boys because Kerry King played guitar on "License to Ill".
I just like The Beastie Boys.

10. The brim of your baseball cap was turned upward with MOSH written on it.
Not likely.

11. A D.R.I. mosh guy and Misfits t-shirts were must-haves.
I don't know what a D.R.I. Mosh Guy is and somehow I never had a Misfits t-shirt although I like them.

12. "Poser" was in your vocabulary.
Yes.

13. You learned a little history by listening to Iron Maiden.
Maiden rules!

14. You or someone you knew had "The Number Of The Beast" album cover painted on the back of their denim jacket AND/OR your denim vest was covered with pins and embroided patches.
I probably saw someone at a concert with a Number of the Beast album cover painted on their jacket. I didn't have a denim vest. My purse was covered with pins and buttons.

15. You had discussions on Metallica vs. Megadeth.
Not really.

16. "Caught in a Mosh" was going to be the title of your A&E Biography.
I've only been in one mosh pit. It was kinda fun but I was also manic as hell at the time.

17. You wore Jams.
Never.

18. You played "I'm The Man" to some of your rap friends.
No.

19. You had albums on Combat Records.
I really can't remember. My record collection got stolen a long time ago. I've replaced many things with CD's but don't remember everything that I had on vinyl. I actually have short-term memory problems so, I hope my life doesn't depend on this!

20. You thought German metal would be the next big thing.
I thought it was just part of the whole thing.

21. Bands like Poison, Winger, Trixter, Kix, and all the bands with the word "White" in their name were killing you.
No, they never tried to kill me.

22. You know how to pronounce and spell Yngwie Malmsteen.
Isn't it Yngve? Hell, I don't know. I'm not Swedish.

23. Chicks in high hair and spandex ruled.
I actually had "Flock of Seagulls" hair even though I was more into metal.

24. Guys in high hair and spandex sucked.
I don't know. Some of them were pretty hot in spite of the overuse of hair spray, and the Spandex could be quite...revealing...

25. You really hated Tipper Gore.
I thought she was wasting her time. I don't really hate too many people.

26. You secretly liked Queensryche.
I was never secretive about things I liked.

27. You wrote on your pants.
And on my leg if I was wearing shorts.

28. Your pants were in their prime when they ripped.
Hell yeah!

29. At every show there was one black metalhead (and you thought that was pretty cool).
Yes, I did think it was cool. What I didn't think was cool was the bloated loser with the swastika tattooed on his fat belly who passed out on the stairs at the last AC/DC concert I was ever able to go to. I was 19, impetuous, and in a very bad mood. I kicked him as I walked by him.
The music at that concert ruled. The people were total assholes. It was the last concert I went to for almost 20 years because I had such a bad time. Luckily people seem to have pulled their heads out of their asses and realized that you're supposed to go to a concert to enjoy the music, not to act like a total dildo!

30. You can name all the members of SEKA.
I thought Seka was a porn star!

31. You think Cliff Burton should be canonized.
Yeah.

32. You find that "Angel of Death" would make a catchier national anthem than the Star Spangled Banner.
Anything would be catchier than The Star Spangled Banner. Truth be told, I hate that song. In a moment of seriousness, I think that America The Beautiful would be a far better National Anthem.
I think that Angel of Death is the national anthem of the Netherworld.

33. You find yourself yelling "SLAYER!" at shows they don't even play.
Not really.

34. You think Iron Maiden is classic rock.
Like I said before--Maiden rules!

35. You thought Ministry was dance music.
Slam dance maybe.

36. You won't drive in a car if there's no tape deck.
What is this "tape deck" crap?? Tapes get caught and break. CD's, Dude!

37. You wore fingerless gloves even in 90 degree weather.
I never wore fingerless gloves.

38. You wanted to draw comic books for a living
That would have been a possibility.

39. You thought Chris Holmes was cool in Decline of Western Civilization Part 2: The Metal Years.
Oh, hell, there's that short term memory thing again. I really can't remember!

40. You can name every guitarist Ozzy had after Randy Rhoads.
I can name Jake E. Lee and Zakk Wylde.

41. You thought KISS actually meant Knights In Satan's Service.
If you were that stupid, doesn't that mean you were NOT metal??

42. You always remember the "J" in Yngwie J. Malmsteen.
No. So he is probably pissed at me.

43. You think the higher the hair, the better the woman.
I think that I like having big hair and being a woman.

44. You wish Ozzy was your dad.
NO! NO! PLEASE, NO!!!!!

45. You thought hair shorter than shoulder length was selling out.
I don't think the length of your hair means shit.

46. You thought hanging earrings were tough.
I thought that they could get ripped out in a fight. I didn't pierce my ears until I was 18 because my parents wouldn't let me and I had to self-hypnotize myself out of my fear of needles before I could work up the courage to do it.

47. You had a skull ring.
I thought I'd look like an idiot with a skull ring.

48. You regularly measured your hair to see how long it got, and felt intimidated by guys with longer hair than you.
Many guys with longer hair than me are WAY HOT!

49. All your favorite songs had one note basslines.
I don't think so!

50. Ozzy could fart in a microphone, and you would force yourself to like it.
I would laugh at it.

51. You fought over whether Motley Crue's makeup made them Glam.
No.

52. Camouflage shorts/pants were a good portion of your wardrobe.
No.

53. You thought the measure of a man was how high he could sing.
Ummm...not really.

54. You owned either leather pants, a leather vest, or chaps, and you're not a cowboy.
I owned a leather jacket.

55. You don't feel tardy, awwww you think the clock is slow.
Damn straight!

56. You know that after "Nothing else matters", nothing Metallica put out did.
I've always appreciated Metallica musically although some of their actions have been a bit off-putting.

57. Your most memorable concerts had a 15 minute: guitar, bass, and drum solos.
If I was digging it I wasn't counting the minutes.

58. You're working hard to bring back baseball t-shirts.
Hey, I like those. But I never work hard if possible.

59. You KNOW in your heart that the mullet haircut WILL come back someday.
I will worship whatever deity saves us from this horror!

60. You refer to Roadsaw as the 'saw, and Judas Priest as 'Priest.
No and yes.

61. You knew what Steve Vai was "saying" to Dave on his guitar.
If I had more time I would philosophize on this with you.

62. You know the difference between M.O.D., S.O.D., and D.R.I.
Is this a test?

63. You fully lace up your workboots only for weddings.
I rarely wear workboots.

64. You think that concerts without explosions are a "rip-off".
No.

65. You think that a concert with under 5 encores is a "rip-off".
The more music the better. But I'm old now so I do need to go home and sleep.

66. You cut the sleeves off of your denim jacket so it would fit over your leather jacket.
No.

67. You owned either shorts or a sleeveless t-shirt with the British flag on it.
I had a t-shirt with the British flag on it.

68. You remember when the quality of a band was directly proportional to the "slutiosity" of its groupies.
Sigh...yes.

69. Like a cape to a bull, white baseball caps triggered a violent response in you.
Should it have?

70. You thought it was funny to ask for a "bottle of anything and a glazed doughnut to go" at the kwiki-mart.
Not especially.

71. You thought that wearing a leather vest WITH a shirt was a fashion faux-pas.
Good Lord, did you want me to get arrested??

72. "Old School" was in your vocabulary.
Yes. As in, I am old school.

73. When confronted with tough life decisions you ask yourself, "What would David Lee Roth do?"
Sometimes--and then I do the opposite!

74. You have had a subscription to one or more metal magazines.
Yes!

75. You give people the hand sign of the devil when they do something cool.
At concerts or parties.